


Somebody touch my lover

by guren666



Category: Banana Bus Squad, Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: GTA V AU, I'm sorry if the tags seem a bit off, M/M, Swearing, also a bad parody of a chinese classic movie, so this fic is basically a meme, this is crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 20:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13418976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guren666/pseuds/guren666
Summary: Mini, Wildcat and Delirious make a very late visit to one and only Vanoss. Of course Mini wants to talk about business, but Delirious recognizes someone...





	Somebody touch my lover

Evan was relaxing in his suite, his current lover going by the codename JigglyPanda was on a laptop, talking with Evan’s illusive business partners.

Overall, it was calm, serene evening and he was just thinking about going to bed early, when Panda gasped. “Boss, we got company. It’s the smuggler Mini with a handful of his men. They request a meeting, right now.”

 

What did that man want at this hour? If he wanted to talk about some jobs, he could come by tomorrow. “Tell him to come back to ---“

The door to Evan’s suite was kicked open, revealing three men.

 

“ **DELIVERY! DELIVERYY!!** Okay, not yet.” Mini shrugged when he saw Vanoss’s face.

 “Hey, hey, hey! Impatient bastard, watch yourself. This is my turf.” Evan snapped at him, standing up as he went to confront them.

Panda stayed on the laptop, however his gaze lingered on one of the guys behind Mini, his eyes wide and cheeks... slightly tinted red...?

Mini blatantly disregarded the not so warm welcome and clasped his hands together. “Vanoss! My good friend, I am sure you know why we’re here.”

 

“Damned if I knew why you never listen and barge into my home whenever you feel like it. Just because you’re useful doesn’t mean we’re friends.” Evan told him, eyeing his two men.

One of them had that strange glint in his eyes and that smirk of his was maddening. How come he never saw this man before with Mini? He must be a new guy... but then again, he must be good at what he does or else Mini wouldn’t trust him.

Seeing how Vanoss ogled his good friend, he chuckled. “I’m afraid that one is not for sale. But if you want, you can ask him on a date later. But wait, your current lover wouldn’t like being cheated on. I know I would get jealous.” Mini rambled on, while Tyler rolled eyes and the third man stepped closer.

Only then he recognized Panda.

 

Normally, personal stuff was put aside while he was outside doing jobs, but this man sitting before him, looking as if he saw a ghost looked exactly like the guy he slept with three days ago.

He laughed. “I was wondering if we’d ever meet again.” His words were directed at Panda who vehemently shook head, unable to form coherent words.

“Aaaw, don’t be so coy now. Three days ago you were begging me to fuck you.”

Tyler and Mini both sighed. “Delirious, way to ruin business relations.”

Meanwhile Vanoss was absorbing the truth. Panda wasn’t home three days ago, he said he went to visit family. Family my ass!

 

But then he thought about it. Why should he keep someone like him as his fuck – partner. He was growing bored of him anyway. And now this... Delirious was his name, right? This guy has a certain spark around him.

He didn’t think much about it, he approached Delirious, who in turn blankly stared at him.

A weighty silence settled between them. Evan cleared his throat. “Did you seduce Anthony?”

Delirious glanced from Evan to Anthony who looked like he was about to faint. His eyes fixated on the man in front of him. “Yes. I did.” He admitted.  “But if you want revenge for lover I seduced, I won’t fight back.”

 

Evan took a few steps back, his face contorted. “Revenge? _Lover_?” He strut towards his desk, letting out a guttural roar that cascaded into a unpredictable outrage of laughter.

 

Everyone in room, including Delirious looked perplexed by his behaviour. It seemed like he just lost his sanity.

With mirth, he pointed at Jonathan who looked as puzzled as Anthony who wished he could vanish. Evan’s next words knocked everyone’s breath out.

“You’re my lover now!” He began walking back to Delirious who looked thoroughly confused, but didn’t back away. Craig and Tyler however backed away, because this shit got awkward and weird too fast.  

“Wait. W -What.” Jonathan stammered.

Meanwhile Anthony looked at Craig and Tyler, shrugging.

Evan stopped before Jonathan, looking him straight in the eyes. “You’re my lover now.” He repeated, this time more firmly.

“Did you hear me clearly? I said I fucked your lover.”

Fazed, Evan shook head. “No, no, no, no, no, no. Anthony proved me right by falling into arms of another man willingly. I need someone like you. You fucked him, so you’re my lover now.”

Evan’s fucked up logic wasn’t questioned verbally, but Delirious’s raised eyebrow spoke volumes. Suddenly, Evan grasped him closer, smashing their lips together. And it didn’t stop there, he went full tongue action with Jonathan, who initially wanted to fight back, but he couldn’t lie; he found Vanoss attractive.

 

Anthony awkwardly coughed. “Well, I’ll be happy to remain your inside tech guy, Evan. If that’s okay...”

Intense making out was making Craig and Tyler blush, because it was so hot. They excused themselves, leaving Jonathan in the clutches of Vanoss.  

Evan motioned with his free hand for Anthony to leave the room, which he did, catching up with Tyler and Craig by the front door entrance.

Meanwhile three men were leaving a very expensive penthouse, Jonathan was inducted into the ways of being a lover to Vanoss, the infamous bad boy.

 

* * *

 

 

Twenty minutes later, in a taco bell drive through...

 

 

Anthony was sitting in Mini’s car, next to Tyler. He knew sooner or later Evan would cheat on him, so he did it before he got cheated on.

What he didn’t count on was bringing him another, more suitable partner along. That Delirious and Evan made a good pair. If this works out, it would be good for boss. He’d finally settle down with someone.

Mini was ordering some food, while Tyler was having a hard time getting his eyes off Anthony who was gorgeous from close up. Evan committed a horrible mistake, letting this man go.

Of course Anthony noticed the glances, and quite frankly he didn’t dislike them. On the contrary, maybe this was the best thing that could have happened to him.

 

Their hands intertwined, a budding new relationship was forming.

 

 

 

_~ THE END? ~_

Extra skits: 

Tyler & Anthony in Tyler’s room, after playing a boring co – op game

Anthony: Woooo! Alright man, this game fucking sucks.

Tyler: I’m gonna go fucking masturbate or something. 

Anthony: *laughs* Yeah, you need help?

Jonathan & Evan in Evan’s suite, cuddling in bed

Evan: I never thought I’d fall for someone like you.

Jonathan: *looks up* What do you mean?

Evan: *winks* Guess I like my men thicc. 

**Author's Note:**

> So let me say what this is parodied on. I found a chinese movies compilation on youtube, here is the link, hopefully it works https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtfwhFBUFiI, skip to 32 minutes, from there the scene starts. I was watching that scene with a friend and we both laughed at the logic of the sentence 'You killed my son, so now you're my son' and yeah xD That's not how it works, right?  
> And this is the final result and hopefully a good parody.


End file.
